Parent behavior

[sadday4hockey]

2 hours ago, forbin said:

better educated on the sport

100% but in their minds, writing the check makes them completely educated.

[Corsi]

2 hours ago, hockeyisgreat said:

Don't you think the majority of kids playing nowadays have parents who played hockey? I'll bet it's close to 75 percent. No facts just what I see.  Mom's yell the loudest! Dad's get on the Refs more.  Just my opinion!

It is probably less than 50% of parents that have played at best, and I'm not counting the dad that started playing beer league at 28 years old and thinks because they started watching hockey in 1990 knows everything there is to know about the game and how it's supposed to be played, just parents that grew up playing the game and have that as a point of reference. 

I agree that Mom's yell the loudest and that Dad's are on the refs the most, but again I feel like these are the parents who didn't grow up around the game and think they know about the game, but actually "know just enough to be dangerous".  These are the parents that I never wanted to be anywhere near when watching a youth game.  There's a reason that, from my experience, that the parents that grew up around the game for the majority of their lives are usually the parents who watch the game from a corner of the rink away from the shit show that happens in the stands.

Edited October 20, 2021 by Corsi

[Lifelongbender]

It's true that when we were kids almost everyone playing hockey had a dad who also played. The growth of the sport in Pittsburgh has made that a thing of the past. That's got some bad aspects to it, but it largely a very good thing. 

Keep in mind that the next generation of players will have the current generation as their parents. The explosive expansion of ice hockey in our region has made that impossible in the short run and inevitable in the long run.

It's amazing to me that people think they don't ever have to be polite in grocery stores, on the internet, or at their kids' sporting events. Three tips for parents:

1. The ref isn't going to give you calls just because you act like a jerk.
2. If you're going to yell at least be right.
3. Your kids HATE it when they can hear you yelling like a fool from the stands. It's embarrassing to them.

 

[muckerandgrinder]

I’m going to play devils advocate here but judging from my experience, a sizable percentage of the parents who have played hockey do not yell at the referees. That is a solid statement that I can get on board with.
   That said, a lot of them do tend to lend their “expert” opinions to other parents in the stands in regards to not only officiating but other topics such as questioning makeup of lines, d pairings, PK/PP etc. Parents are new to the game are easily influenced by another parent who extols a type of street cred simply because they played hockey at some point. 
 I don’t think there is really a demographic for a good hockey parent prototype. It really comes down to “less is more” talking at games and practices and “if you are talking you are not listening” when it comes to your kid. 

 

 

 

 

[Corsi]

2 hours ago, muckerandgrinder said:

I’m going to play devils advocate here but judging from my experience, a sizable percentage of the parents who have played hockey do not yell at the referees. That is a solid statement that I can get on board with.
   That said, a lot of them do tend to lend their “expert” opinions to other parents in the stands in regards to not only officiating but other topics such as questioning makeup of lines, d pairings, PK/PP etc. Parents are new to the game are easily influenced by another parent who extols a type of street cred simply because they played hockey at some point. 

Great point...  I was lucky, I only coached my own son up until he moved up to Pee Wee and then we switched to a larger organization that already had experienced coaches in place.  I still volunteered and helped out with practices when it was needed, but I rarely had to go on the bench anymore. 

What you say is really accurate about "experienced" hockey parents having an influence is true, but that is a symptom of the lack of parental education that goes on within organizations.  When parents aren't being taught something they will naturally listen to whoever is around that seems like they know what is going on and what they are talking about.  This especially true with younger kids and their parents as they are just starting out in the sport.  

[Chinstrap]

I can only speak for myself and the relationship i have with my son. From the time he played ‘in house’ to now when he plays Varsity, we promised each other the same thing: I won’t ever embarrass him by my conduct in the stands and he won’t ever embarrass me by his conduct on the ice.

N=1, but it has worked for us so far. He deserves better than seeing his Dad acting like an ass when he just wants to play.

[Danner27]

All the years traveling with my oldest around the country, my experience - the majority of parents yelling at refs & other parents were drinking. Heck, a parent I was very friendly with who never said much - one game he had a few beers. Embarrassed his own kid and got tossed. I’m not saying this is the case for every parent causing problems during a game, just in my experience alcohol seemed to be a major contributor. 

[aaaahockey]

8 hours ago, Danner27 said:

All the years traveling with my oldest around the country, my experience - the majority of parents yelling at refs & other parents were drinking. Heck, a parent I was very friendly with who never said much - one game he had a few beers. Embarrassed his own kid and got tossed. I’m not saying this is the case for every parent causing problems during a game, just in my experience alcohol seemed to be a major contributor. 

Absolutely.  Same reason you can play most teams at 6 am and the parents are great but at 9 pm they are out of control. 

[Lifelongbender]

15 hours ago, aaaahockey said:

Absolutely.  Same reason you can play most teams at 6 am and the parents are great but at 9 pm they are out of control. 

I get that the very expensive organizations have an interest in not messing with the parents, but as for me, we never put up with that kind of behavior from parents. It's something that the coaches should be managing. Drunken misbehavior by the parents at games simply shouldn't be tolerated. But you see it all the time. I've seen parents getting into the faces of opposing players walking off the ice. Disgraceful.